Monday, September 29, 2008

The Long Funk

I've been in a pretty bad mood lately. It's not an every day, every minute kind of bad mood, though ... which is almost easier to deal with. It just gets triggered and is hard to get out of. For instance, I caught the little piss-ant that was ripping my McCain sign out of my yard. It's one the junior high students. With my sore knee, I wasn't able to follow her well enough to find out where she lives. Her name is Julie or Julia, though. I was going to stand outside and take her picture this morning while she waited for the bus (for purposes of which I don't know ... it just seems like a good idea), but none of the students waited at the stop today. Maybe because I yelled at her on Friday or maybe because it looked like it was going to rain ... who knows. But, it put me in such a bad mood.

I can't really say that anything happened on Saturday. I did the grocery shopping. Oh, my knee felt a little better, so I helped Kevin with the yard work. I trimmed our bushes and swept the leaves off our front lawn. Lubbock fell down the two steps at the end of the yard and got a good bump on his forehead ... again. Went to bed early.

Sunday was pretty bad. I woke up with Lubbock and he is still cranky ... he's been cranky for a few days. The poor guy has his hand in his mouth and is slobbering all over the place. His mouth must really hurt. I can acknowledge this intellectually, but it doesn't keep me from screaming at him when he bites my belly or tries to flip off the changing table when he's got a mess all over him. I feel bad after the fact. Some days I'm better equipped to handle this whole 'being a mother' thing.

Today is the day that Cleo goes to her foster family. I don't know if that's part of my bad mood or not. I was a little irritated with Kevin all weekend because he didn't even play with her. He just put her in the back yard and ignored her. I asked him a few times if he was going to let her in and he said he was keeping her out there because of me. He's totally putting this all on me. I can't feel that bad about it, though ... I am doing what's best for everyone ... Cleo included.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.

In the mean time, I can't decide if I need to get my medication adjusted or wait and see if it's the dog. Ya, I said it. Medication. Some of you know about this. I even sometimes joke about it ("No amount of medication can make me okay with the dog biting my child" for instance). But, for the most part, it's really helpful. I think I'll wait to see if Cleo's departure helps.

In other news ... I've had two entries in my giveaway. It's a start. I asked my sister if she was going to enter and she said she didn't have a Google account, so she didn't enter. Whatever. If there's two entries, I'll just flip a coin to see who wins. It's still fun to give things away.

Anyway, Lubbock's taking his nap. I'm going to take a shower and document the newest pile of things for Goodwill.


Melisa said...

I'm sorry things are so tough. Maybe Kevin is just having a hard time saying goodbye to Cleo so he is emotionally shutting down. He wouldn't be the first guy to have a difficult time dealing with emotion.

I'm glad you scared that little punk girl away. How rude of her! I'm glad she knows you saw her. Maybe she'll behave better now.

I hope your knee gets better quickly. Walking is kinda important. ;)

And I soooo know what you mean about intellecutally knowing why your kid is driving you crazy, but still getting emotionally charged. I'm so stressed with the idea of moving I couldn't sleep last night. And then Calet was up at 4. I was so hoping she would go back to sleep so I wouldn't lose my mind.

I'm all for meds. Wish I had them after Daven was born. I got on them right away while pregnant with Calet. Hope yours help! It makes a big difference.

I hope your day gets easier. ((hugs))

Melisa said...

Oh, and you can count me as one of your groupies, but when I tried to add "blogs I follow" it screwed up my google reader, which I love. So, you're on my google reader. :)